Showing posts from June, 2005

2 more days and it's back to green

This black style I've got applied is doing my head in. Just doesn't feel like my place anymore. I think I'm also starting to get over the Lions tour . Thought I'd timed it to perfection but I was mistaken. I've peaked 8 days too early. I think I can hang on until Saturday evening but if the Lions win I think I'm just gonna give it up. Not as young (and single-focussed) as I used to be. 2 more days ...

Dear Mr Riversdale, Congratulations!

The Minister of Internal Affairs has approved your application for New Zealand Citizenship. Wicked!!!! Citizenship will be granted to you at a ceremony in your area where you will take the oath or affirmation of allegiance and be presented with your citizenship certificate. Still gotta pay to get the passport, bum! I am a very happy man and you're all invited to the ceremony whenever it comes around!

MAKEPOVERTYHISTORY Aotearoa - 1 July launch

EVERY single day, 30,000 children are dying as a result of extreme poverty. That’s one child every three seconds. This year we finally have the resources, knowledge and opportunity to end this shameful situation. Thousands of people in countries across the world are coming together to MAKEPOVERTYHISTORY once and for all. MAKEPOVERTYHISTORY Aotearoa Make Poverty History is part of an international campaign calling for immediate and meaningful government action against poverty. Each national campaign has shaped its platform to suit its context. In Aotearoa New Zealand, Make Poverty History is calling for New Zealand government action on: Trade Justice Drop the Debt More and Better Aid End Child Poverty in Aotearoa New Zealand Aotearoa events from 1 July Auckland : Main White Band Event Where: AUCKLAND MUSEUM When: 10am, Friday 1 July Join us at the Auckland Museum where we will be making poverty history! We have an exciting event taking place involving white bands, celebriti

one before: no more

one before (ie, Sarah) was one of the prime reasons behind me starting this blog. I stumbled across her writings a mere 6-7 months ago and was immediately hooked. Her sense of the bizarre, the ordinary and the juxtoposition of both was (is) simply sublime. Her story about talking to herself, closing her eyes and walking into the lady putting the rubbish ou t is still one of the finest pieces of writing I have ever read. I snorted with laughter Now that road has come to the end. I am sad. Hopefully Sarah will find the time, energy and free-hosting to come back in the not too distant future. Thanks for everything. Visit before it's all gone!

And that's me in the background

STUFF: Lone protester at ABs training As Stuff don't keep their links here's the photo and the original article for posterity: Lone protester at ABs training 28 June 2005 By MATTHEW TORBIT While the crowds flocked to the Basin Reserve to watch the All Blacks train yesterday, a lone Welsh voice was on hand to wave a protest banner. Standing in the terraces holding a homemade sign with the words, "Shame tana cheap Shot", Julie Richards described All Black captain Tana Umaga's throw on Lions captain Brian O'Driscoll in the first test in Christchurch on Saturday night as "sickening". Mrs Richards, who moved from Wales to Wellington five years ago, said she felt compelled to protest against the alleged spear-tackle which has splintered relations between the two rugby camps. "The All Blacks were superb but the incident marred the game – it was an absolutely disgusting act of violence." Mrs Richards said her daughter made the banner. "As soon

Complete low-down on what's happening in town this test weekend


Week 20, exciting times ahead

It's been one heck of a week. We now know (80% and all that) that we are having a wee girl and the whole naming conundrum has been resolved. Liz has been feeling her (so cool to be able to say "her" - or "him", but it's "her"), feeling her kick and move around for the past week or so. There's even been times when, if I'd been fast enough, I could have seen the weird Alien-esque bump moving around - more opportunities will come in the future I know. Liz has, now and again, felt a little vomitous but is generally in fine fettle. We're off out Friday for a celebration (of baby and other stuff) and so she's back to how she used to be - a lush like her husband! And we're gearing up to tell Jack all about Meg. We've been telling him that there's a baby in Mum's tum or a while but I'm not sure how he's taken it. He now calls Mum 'baba" so he might have got them both as one entity. We've named the baby

wellingtonist: A flag for our time AND The early Friday test build-up

The early Friday test build-up A flag for our time

My Dad starts a blog

Monmouthtown Mr Boyle has arrived on line.

BBC | New Zealand 21-3 Lions

Nice I agree with these Lions players "how well did they do" scores . On ya Ryan Jones, the rest, very average. Bring on the Welsh!!! As for "cry me a river O'Driscoll" , I suppose it takes the UK press away from real issues the squad has - if this is their response ( Danny Grecock cited for biting ) it's all over for this squad. Maybe Clive Woodward should introduce the players to each other just before they run onto the field. They are a shambles

Week 19 (pt2), It's a girl ... probably

Anyone with their mobile number in my phone can already tell you that after the scan today the news is both a) all fine and normal; b) it's probably a girl . She was lying at an awkward angle for the scanning lady (proper title evades me at the mo' - senographer or the like). In fact, she had her wee foot in between her legs blocking the vital gender-indicator area. After some maneuvering and luck she then announced that she's 80% confident we're having a girl. So, Megan Hannah Riversdale it is - Meg . (more Megan Hannah postings)

A little British & Irish Lions humour for ya

We're all geared up for the first test tomorrow - looking forward to it. And a few words that may come back to haunt Clive Woodward OR he'll show us all the finger: BBC: Lions rule out English bias (9-March-2005) Sporting Life: JPR questions Woodward BBC: Woodward plays down English bias (11-April-2005) BBC: Lions backed to handle pressure (23-June-2005)

Tom Cruise, Katie Holmes, Scientology and truth

OK, "one of those things doesn't belong there, one of those things just doesn't belong" (truth) Read all about the strange (as reported by newspapers ... ) goings on via Jemsweb: The plot thickens

I Was Hitler's Wet Nurse

I Was Hitler's Wet Nurse ! It's like a bad dream, a car crash and a child just about to fall down the stairs, all at the same time - you don't want to watch but you just can't stop yourself. I only managed to escape by pushing the "Blog this" link ...

Not sure how long I can keep this up

Being black ... using a black style for the blog . It's getting to me. Let's see how the first test goes and then maybe the Welsh in me can set me free and I'll go back to being green.

NZ fans urged to backout Barmy Army with 'Stand in Black'

NZRU: NZ fans urged to backout Barmy Army with 'Stand in Black' As Sean will attest and I have been convinced being loud and extremely out there is the way to go. Black up for the games and be LOUD ! --- The challenge is on for All Blacks fans to ‘Stand in Black’ Show your support for the All Blacks as they go into the DHL NZ Lions Test matches against the British & Irish Lions. Whether dressing yourself in black, painting your car or theming your workplace, prove to our team on the field that you’re behind them 110%. is rewarding those fans who get behind the ‘black out’ theme the best. Prizes include a limited edition leatherbound copy of Ron Palenski’s All Blacks v Lions book, signed by the 2005 All Blacks squad, as well as tickets to the 3rd Test at Eden Park and Stand in Black supporters packs. For your chance to show off your passion and ingenuity, as well as seeing them on , email your photos to The best photo

Ahmed Zoui

I don't really care if he's in or if he's out BUT I think the phrase (as reported on National Radio as I came home tonight), " .... his human rights do not have to be taken into account .... " was daming of New Zealand and all it thinks it stands for. In fact, I think New Zealanders live in a bit of of cloud cookoo land sometimes and trust the 'powers that be' far more than they should. They aren't ya mates and they aren't always doing what you think they should. Sir Ed isn't in charge and red socks won't help. The All Blacks play a game. So do politicians. This from Stuff : Miss Clark said it was unlikely that the public would find out more about why the SIS have concerns about Mr Zaoui. "The public expect us to do whatever we can to protect our borders and to make judgments about who should be residing in New Zealand." Can you see the tensions in those two sentences? This line: the inspector-general of intelligence and securi

It's the end of the World as we know it

Grabthar's Hammer: [General] It's the end of the World as we know it Interesting and nicely researched/linked.

Videos for sale

I've got a stack of videos (VHS) that are just lying around the house and I've watched until I can watch no more. Anyone want them? They range from music (Deep Purple, Rainbow), comedy (loads of Laurel & Hardy, Billy Connolly ...) and I think a few movies (Casablanca, Priscilla ...). Cost: make me an offer I can't refuse. If you're interested then drop me a line ( ) and I'll send ya the complete list.

Julian Beever's pavement drawings

Oh! My! God! Julian Beever's pavement drawings Here's an example - that is a drawing of a Coke bottle!

BBC News: Styleguide

BBC Training & Development > Styleguide articles Easy to read and very useful guide to writing Download the PDF version (276Kb)

50 Things You Would Never Know If It Weren't For American Movies

The final load of malarkey from the old work PC. Check out the rest when you've got nothing better to do. I also team the following with the "Evil Overlord" list - quality stuff. --------- If staying in a haunted house, women should investigate any strange noises wearing their most revealing underwear. If being chased through town, you can usually take cover in a passing St Patrick's Day parade - at any time of the year. All beds have special L-shaped top sheets that reach up to armpit level on a woman but only waist level on the man lying beside her. All grocery shopping bags contain at least one stick of French bread. It's easy for anyone to land a plane, providing there is someone in the control tower to talk you down. Once applied, lipstick will never rub off - even while scuba diving. The ventilation system of any building is a perfect hiding place. No one will ever think of looking for you in there and you can travel

25 Things I Have learned in 50 Years

Nearly there ... ---- 25 Things I Have learned in 50 Years by Dave Barry The badness of a movie is directly proportional to the number of helicopters in it. You will never find anybody who can give you a clear and compelling reason why we observe daylight-saving time. People who feel the need to tell you that they have an excellent sense of humour are telling you that they have no sense of humour. The most valuable function performed by the federal government is entertainment. You should never say anything to a woman that even remotely suggests you think she's pregnant unless you can see an actual baby emerging from her at that moment. A penny saved is worthless. They can hold all the peace talks they want, but there will never be peace in the Middle East. Billions of years from now, when Earth is hurtling toward the Sun and there is nothing left alive on the planet except a few microorganisms, the microorganisms living in the Mid

Gods Total Quality Management

Only 2 more to go after this ... ----- God would like to thank you for your belief and patronage. In order to better serve your needs, God asks that you take a few moments to answer the following questions. Please keep in mind that your responses will be kept completely confidential, and that you need not disclose your name or address unless you prefer a direct response to comments or suggestions. 1. How did you find out about your deity? __ Newspaper __ Bible __ Torah __ Television __ Book of Mormon __ Divine Inspiration __ Dead Sea Scrolls __ My Mama Done Tol' Me __ Near Death Experience __ Near Life Experience __ National Public Radio __ Tabloid __ Burning Shrubbery __ Other (specify): _____________ 2. Which model deity did you acquire? __ Yahweh __ Father, Son & Holy Ghost [Trinity Pak] __ Jehovah __ Jesus __ Krishna __ Zeus and entourage [Olympus Pak] __ Odin and entourage [Valhallah

Mae West quotes

As with all the quotes posted I've no idea how legitimate they are. ---- It's not the men in my life that counts-it's the life in my men. A man in the house is worth two in the street Too much of a good thing can be wonderful. He who hesitates is last I used to be Snow White but I drifted "Goodness, what beatiful diamonds !" - "Goodness had nothing to do with it, dearie". It's hard to be funny when you have to be clean. I've been things and done places When I'm good, I'm very good, but when I'm bad, I'm better. When a girl goes wrong - men go right after her. So many men, so little time. You're never too old to become younger. You ought to get out of those wet clothes and into a dry martini. Those who are easily shocked, should be shocked more often. Anything worth doing is worth doing slowly. I only like two kinds of men: domestic and foreign. Give a man a free hand and he'll run it all over you. I've been in more la

Oscar Wilde quotes

Today is the day I'm gonna finish putting up all the crap from this PC . Yeah! ----- "We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars." "I love acting. It is so much more real than life." "It only the intellectually lost who ever argue." "Education is an admirable thing. But it is well to remember from time to time that nothing that is worth knowing can be taught." "It is a very sad thing that now-a-days there is so little useless information." "In the old days books were written by men of letters and read by the public. Now-a-days books are written by the public and read by nobody." "Friendship is far more tragic than love. It lasts longer." "The only thing that can console one for being poor is extravagance. The only thing that can console one for being rich is economy." "Those whom the gods love grow young." "I suppose society is wonderfully delightful. To be in it is

Phil Bennett quote

Following on from my, " Hmm, Welsh wonders in the Lions " it's approporiate that I post this actual team ( off the work PC ) talk Phil Bennett gave to Wales before England in Cardiff. Look what those bastards have done to Wales" he roared. "They've taken our coal, our water, our steel. They buy our houses and they live in them for a fortnight every 12 months. What have they given us? Absolutely nothing. We've been exploited, raped, controlled and punished by the English - and that's who you are playing this afternoon. Then Wales ran out and gave another bewitching demonstration of the fine art of rugby.

Welsh wonders ... I wonder

Clive Woodward is hailing the Welsh players : "... don't think the Grand Slam [Six Nations] was a one off " and, what I think is more important, "These players are almost the heart-throb of the team." As most who know me are aware I'm supporting the All Blacks during this test series because there are so many bloody English in the squad (and management). But this has made me think twice. If the Welsh are truly holding the tour together and driving it forward then I'm much more ambivilent about the result. I recall how the '71 tour was Welsh driven ... hmmmm. Might just choose on the day depending on ratio of Welsh players :-) And if you're a Kiwi or Brit about to tell me to get off the fence ... fuck off and don't bother. I am in a special and fairly unique situation of being a Welsh/English person that calls Wellington (NZ) home. I am a passionate Welshman that has taken the All Blacks to heart. If you're not Welsh/English/Kiwi then re

W. C. Fields quotes

The office has all been moved around - new desks (with starter handles to raise and lower them), new high(er) speed network and ... the same old work. At least I have a differing view of the world, my team (well, the team I'm a part of not "my" team) is a lot closer - finally - and it's like an office from the 80's ... or even a classroom. But I still have time to move the crap off the PC : ------ Any man who hates dogs and loves whiskey can't be all bad. Anyone who hates Dogs and Kids Can't be All Bad. Hey! Who took the cork off my lunch??! Who stole the cork from my breakfast? Now don't say you can't swear off drinking, it's easy. I've done it a thousand times. Horse sense is the thing a horse has which keeps it from betting on people. If at first you don't succeed, try, try, again. Then quit, no use being a damn fool about things. Madam, there's no such thing as a tough child - if you parboil them first for seven hours, they alwa

Week 19, Meg or Louie?

Come this Friday we'll know whether we're having a Megan or a Louie. Yep, scan time. Of course we also hope it turns up all the normal stuff and shows a healthy, wealthy (you never know) and wise baby. I'm sure it will. Liz is all good. Few vom sessions but nothing serious . She's also had a few round ligament pains ... well, that's what I think they are but what do I know. With all the second babies around ( as mentioned last week ) I'm definitely starting to look forward to the impending arrival. At Jacks birthday I had small people sitting on my knee, exploding babies to help clean up and some very cute crawlers to watch over. AND, aren't girls weird? Not in a, "I'm a boy and therefore aren't ALL girls weird" sort of way. More of specific, "Aren't girls bits funny?" OK, being a boy I'm used to willy's (willies - plural of willy is??). I have one. My Dad had one. And, of course, Jack has one. I know what they do. I

Normal service will be resumed

I realise that the old blog has turned into a bit of a rugby site ... sorry ... well, sorry if you're not into rugby. Blogs are, I s'pose, meant to reflect the writer and for me rugby is high on the list of "what I'm doing at the moment". If you're not into rugby and are looking for the normal malarkey then hang in there, it'll all be over after the final test ( 9th July ). You could just check out some of the best of Mike ;-) Or feast ya eyes on the photos .

wellingtonist: Where to watch the All Blacks

wellingtonist: Where to watch the All Blacks

Spike Milligan quotes

The purge continues --------- "Money couldn't buy you friends, but you got a better class of enemy." "I speak Esparanto like a native." "In India a farmhand was caught in the act with his cow. He said he had bad eyesight and thought it was his wife." "Hi vibrato sounded like he was driving a tractor over a ploughed field with weights tied to his scrotum." "A sure cure for seasickness is to sit under a tree." "It was a perfect marriage. She didn't want to and he couldn't." "I thought I'd begin by reading a poem by Shakespeare, but then I thought, why should I? He never reads any of mine." "My Father had a profound influence on me, he was a lunatic." "You silly twisted boy." "I shook hands with a friendly Arab. I still have my right arm to prove it ."

Black because ...

Rugby. The Lions tour. Supporting the All Blacks. (inspiration from Kiwifruit::Not Scared of Lions )

EFF: Legal Guide for Bloggers

EFF: Legal Guide for Bloggers

50 TV Moments: #49 - LA Law

49 LA LAW (A real-life Homer Simpson sues for wrongful dismissal) It was an ingenious piece of TV scripting and casting when Dan Castellaneta, aka the voice of Homer Simpson, appeared as real-life version of the Duff-guzzling power-plant worker in an episode of Steve Biochco's suits and skyscrapers drama LA Law. Sacked from a Simpsons theme park for turning up pissed and throwing up in front of the children, our man visits Arnie Becker claiming wrongful dismissal. Clad in his Homer costume for most of the episode and with Homer's distinctive voice, Castellaneta proceeds to urinate, fall over and generally clomp around like some club footed OAP. Pure Homer. Previous: 50: EASTENDERS (Dirty Den snuffs it)

Malarkey collected on the old work PC

There's so much and I want to be able to find it again, hence this. 50 Things You Would Never Know If It Weren't For American Movies 25 Things I Have learned in 50 Years Gods Total Quality Management Mae West quotes Oscar Wilde quotes Phil Bennett quote W.C. Fields quotes Spike Milligan quotes 50 TV Moments: #49 - LA Law Winston Churchill quotes ... probably My favourite Fawlty Towers quotes Norm's greetings For those that love life (Dawn French quote) 50 Greatest TV Moments Of All Time: #50 The Official Men's Room Etiquette Aptitude Exam


A meme passed on by Ms Vile File at, de-surprisingly, The Vile File ; Name 5 things you miss most about your childhood Doing anything and everything. Running around like an idiot, screaming at the top of my lungs and carrying-on with my mates. All this and having it praised by my parents ... as long as it was outside. And being outside was exactly where I wanted to be. Getting ill and being looked after. The nesting side of me most definitely comes from the times I was ill and didn't have to go to school. It would be me and my Mum alone in the house, all warm, cosy and safe. I would get food/drink brought to me in my bed. I loved it and I still do. Getting presents. Even though I do still receive cool presents it's somehow not the same. Now-a-days I know that it's a function of money and, really, anything can be got. When I was a wee lad I had no concept of this. Getting something that had been seen on TV was magical. It 'appeared'. Comics. The Beano was

Winston Churchill quotes ... probably

The incessant stream of crap from my old work PC (brought in from home actually) continues: I have no idea if these are true, can be really attributred to Winnie or what the source's are. Take 'em at face value and use in your email signature as you want. ----- Men occasionally stumble over the truth, but most of them pick themselves up and hurry off as if nothing had happened. It has been said that democracy is the worst form of government except all the others that have been tried. A fanatic is one who can't change his mind and won't change the subject. I like pigs. Dogs look up to us. Cats look down on us. Pigs treat us as equals. There is nothing more exhilarating than to be shot at without result. Although prepared for martyrdom, I preferred that it be postponed. It's a good thing for an uneducated man to read books of quotations. My wife and I tried to breakfast together, but we had to stop or our marriage would have been wrecked. A joke is a very serious thi

The Treaty of Waitangi

The Treaty of Waitangi

Norm's greetings

I know this is easy blogging but it's fun and is clearing away the detritus . If you ever wished you could remember Norm 's greetings from the American sitcom Cheers , here you go. ---------------- "What's shaking Norm?" "All four cheeks & a couple of chins." "What's new Normie?" "Terrorists, Sam. They've taken over my stomach & they're demanding beer." "What'd you like Normie?" "A reason to live. Give me another beer." "What'll you have Normie?" "Well, I'm in a gambling mood Sammy. I'll take a glass of whatever comes out of that tap. "Looks like beer, Norm." "Call me Mister Lucky." "Hey Norm, how's the world been treating you?" "Like a baby treats a diaper." "What's the story Mr. Peterson?" "The Bobbsey twins go to the brewery. Let's cut to the happy ending." "Hey Mr. Peterson, there'

For those that love life

Cleaning up the stuff from the work PC in preparation for an upgrade. Here's a nice wee file I had with a quote from Dawn French (allegedly): There are two kinds of women - those who like chocolates and complete bitches.

Michael Jackson found ...

... Not Guilty on all counts. The reaction from the people on the chairs at work: Typical Americans No way - he's so guilty Yeah right How big will that pay off be? ... Fair to say he's guilty in the eyes of most (not all) people around me and always would be. Strange world isn't it. My view? As I haven't heard the evidence for or against ... the jury's decision is what it is. And, to be fair, it doesn't really affect me or mine so I won't be losing too much sleep over it.

50 Greatest TV Moments Of All Time

I collected this many years ago and love it and I'm gonna post them over the next month or so. Be aware it came from a British magazine - Cult TV - so it'll be very much UK based 50: EASTENDERS (Dirty Den snuffs it) Proof - if it were needed - that women love nothing more than a total bastard was provided in the 80s by the alarming and (given that he had a face that could most charitably described as 'lived-in') surprising elevation of one Dennis Watts to the status of National Sex Symbol. His premature death at the wrong end of an Interflora mixed spray could not fail, then, to be one of the TV events of the decade. And how fitting that he should be dropped into the canal during a character-defining secret assignation with Meechelle, the unlikely Lolita whose teenage pregnancy had done so much to earn the man his name. Next: 49 LA LAW (A real-life Homer Simpson sues for wrongful dismissal)

My favourite Fawlty Towers quotes

There's oodles of malarkey on this PC ... sloooowly being deleted. ---- A Touch of Class Sybil : What are you doing? Basil : I'm kissing you, dear. Sybil : Well, don't. The Builders Basil : (to phone) Ah yes, Mr O'Reilly, well it's perfectly simple. When I asked you to build me a wall I was rather hoping that instead of just dumping the bricks in a pile you might have found time to cement them together... you know, one on top of another, in the traditional fashion. -- O'Reilly : (calmly) Just remember, Mr Fawlty, there's always someone worse off than yourself. Basil : Is there. Well, I'd like to meet him. I could do with a laugh. The Wedding Party Basil : Always reminds me of someone machine-gunning a seal. Major : The heat? Basil : ...No, no, my wife's laugh. -- Jean : Has it got a breeze? Basil : Has it got a breeze ? Jean : Is it airy? Basil : Well, it's got air in it. -- Sybil : Hello... Audrey! Any news?... Oh dear, he