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Showing posts from December, 2008

Learn To Count in Maori

On The 12th Day Of Christmas My True Love Sent To Me ...

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December 25th (From the law offices Taeker, Spredar, and Baegar)

Dear Sir:

This is to acknowledge your latest gift of twelve fiddlers fiddling, which you have seen fit to inflict on our client, Miss Agnes McCallister. The destruction, of course, was total. All correspondence should come to our attention. If you should attempt to reach Miss McCallister at Happy Dale Sanitarium, the attendants have instructions to shoot you on sight. With this letter, please find attached a warrant for your arrest.

-Merry Christmas
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11th day

We Are Prepared

Christmas presents have been bought
Over a bottle of wine the pressies have been wrappedSanta's Christmas stocking fillers have been divided and are ready to be distributedFamily in Stockholm have been Skype'd and plans for present opening across the timezones made (how friggin' cool is that!)Beer has been boughtChicken and fresh stuff is being boughtVineyards have been emptiedLiz's iPhone Xmas present has been let out of the bag by a "Thank you for registering your iPhone" email sent to her InBox, damn was gonna get in before Liz and archive it but ...Christmas music has been played and is being playedPeter Pan is being enjoyedKids are keen as mustard go have a bath - !!!! - reason: Father Christmas/Santa doesn't want to struggle through smelly bedrooms to fill the stockingsTwo more things about Christmas that have struck me this year: The myth (out and out lie?) of Father Christmas is weird ... but it generates so much excitement and wonder for J & M …

On The 11th Day Of Christmas My True Love Sent To Me ...

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December 24th: 11th Day

Listen Fuckhead:

What's with the eleven lords a-leaping on those maids and aforementioned "ladies"? Some of those broads will never walk again. Those pipers ran through the maids and have been committing sodomy with the cows. All 234 of the birds are dead. They have been trampled to death in the orgy. I hope you're satisfied, you rotten swine.

Your sworn enemy,
Miss Agnes McCallister
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10th day / 12th day ...


On The 10th Day Of Christmas My True Love Sent To Me ...

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December 23rd: 10th Day

You Rotten Prick:

Now there's ten ladies dancing - I don't know why I call those sluts ladies. They've been balling those nine pipers all night long. Now the cows can't sleep and they've got diarrhea. My living room is a river of shit. The commissioner of buildings has subpoenaed me to give cause why the building shouldn't be condemned. I'm sic-ing the police on you.

One who means it, Ag
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9th day / 11th day ...

On The 9th Day Of Christmas My True Love Sent To Me ...

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December 22nd: 9th Day

Hey Shithead:

What are you? Some kind of sadist? Now there's nine pipers playing. And Christ - do they play. They never stopped chasing those maids since they got here yesterday morning. The cows are upset and are stepping all over those screeching birds. No wonder they screech. What am I going to do? The neighbours have started a petition to evict me. You'll get yours.

From Ag
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8th day / 10th day ...


On The 8th Day Of Christmas My True Love Sent To Me ...

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December 21st: 8th Day

OK Buster:

I think I prefer the birds. What the hell am I going to do with eight maids-a-milking? It's not enough with all those birds and eight maids-a-milking, but they had to bring their own goddam cows. There is shit all over the lawn and I can't move into my own house. Just lay off me. SMART ASS.

Agnes
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7th day / 9th day ...


On The 7th Day Of Christmas My True Love Sent To Me ...

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December 20th: 7th Day

John:

What's with you and those fucking birds???? Seven swans-a-swimming. What kind of goddam joke is this? There's bird shit all over the house and they never stop the racket. I'm a nervous wreck and I can't sleep all night. IT'S NOT FUNNY.......So stop with those fucking birds.

Sincerely, Agnes
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6th day / 8th day ...

The End Of The World Is Nye

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This is easly the best picture of 2008, and that's out of some amazing pictures (see all of Bostoncom's pictures of 2008) - just wow.


Click for the full version

Miramar News: Iwi Buy Shelly Bay

Shelly Bay has huuuuge potential and I look forward to seeing developments

Read the full Iwi buy Shelly Bay story on Stuff.co.nz:
...
Wellington Mayor Kerry Prendergast said she believed that the iwi were "perfect partners" with the city because of their long-term interest in land-holding, economic development and education.

"When we had initial discussions over Shelly Bay they were keen to understand what the city and community hopes were for that site."

The community made it clear that the land should have mixed use a potential mix of housing, shopping and commercial, with large tracts of it being kept green.

...

On The 6th Day Of Christmas My True Love Sent To Me ...

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December 19th: 6th Day

Dear John:

When I opened the door there were actually six geese-a-laying on my front steps. So you're back to the birds again, huh? Those geese are huge. Where will I ever keep them? The neighbors are complaining and I can't sleep through the racket. PLEASE STOP!

Cordially, Agnes

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5th day / 7th day ...

I Am Your Role Model And I Can Prove It

Don’t look down until you do it, you’ll love it I promise
Pick your favorite number between 1-9 
Multiply by 3
Add 3, then again multiply by 3
You’ll get a 2 or 3 digit number
Add the digits together 

Now with that number see who your ROLE MODEL is from the list below:
Einstein
Nelson Mandela
Abraham Lincoln
Helen Keller
Bill Gates
Gandhi
George Clooney
Thomas Edison
Mike Riversdale
Abraham Lincoln
;-)

1 Action Point: Help Defend Our NZ Creative Freedom

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Here in New Zealand there are a number of central government pressures coming to apply on all Kiwi's limiting what we can/cannot do with "content" and even more scary what companies can do if they suspect (merely suspect, no prove required) that you are breaking copyright-type laws.

And closer to home (for me) Wellington is a darned creative space with a lot of people doing international quality work in a sphere's of creativity - web, music, design, events - ad therefore I think the trend sucks (read more about ACTA / Section92a)
But what can you do? Support the CreativeFreedom.org.nz that "speaks for artists concerned at this trend and through Our Goals we seek to bring Copyright Law into the 21st Century".
That's it. Support the site, let others know of your support and pass on the word. Of course you could go a step frther and actually get involved but let's just get the word out for now.

Here's their launch press release - pass it on!
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On The 5th Day Of Christmas My True Love Sent To Me ...

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December 18th: 5th Day

Dearest John:

What a surprise! Today the postman delivered five golden rings. One for each finger. You're just impossible, but I love it. Frankly, John, all those squawking birds were beginning to get on my nerves.

All my love, Agnes
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4th day / 6th day ...

[Wanted] Have You Seen This Person?

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Because by fuck I'm sure he was sitting next to me on the bus OR she passed me in the street OR probably lives in same house as I do ... probably, possibly.

Top work from the Police composite artist


Link

On The 4th Day Of Christmas My True Love Sent To Me ...

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December 17th: 4th Day

Today the postman delivered four calling birds. Now really! They are beautiful, but don't you think enough is enough? You're being too romantic.

Affectionately, Agnes
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3rd day / 5th day

Bleed The World (video)

A great video taking the mick out of the current global financial crisis. Urging people to digg deep for those in need this Christmas.
I love the gorilla from the advert - brilliant



(thanks Alan)

On The 3rd Day Of Christmas My True Love Sent To Me ...

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December 16th: 3rd Day

Dear John:

Oh, aren't you the extravagant one! Now I must protest. I don't deserve such generosity. Three french hens. They are just darling but I must insist.... you're just too kind.

Love Agnes
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2nd day / 4th day

The 2008 'Days Of Christmas'

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As is becoming something of a tradition here at the blog, this is my Yuletide posting about all that you should know for Christmas. But let's just take a moment in the busy day to remember what it's all about - the people you love. I'm thinking of the people you love right now ... are you thinking of mine?

Of course, it's not just about family and friends (if that's who I was thinking of) but also presents, alcohol and oodles of sitting around in the sun (hardy har har Northern Hempishpereans!)

If Jesus is you thing, I mean, if he's your bag, what you're into man then do the religious thing as well. Just don't get all "God" over Christmas and try to remember that it was originally a pagan festival around the longest day, certainly don't want you Christians foisting your ideas on people and trying to subvert the real message!

Fun. that's the real message. Believe in Father Christmas (who shats all over Santa) and have too much laughter wit…

On The 2nd Day Of Christmas My True Love Sent To Me ...

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December 15th: 2nd Day

Dearest John:

Today the postman brought your very sweet gift. Just imagine, two turtle doves.... I'm just delighted at your very thoughtful gift. They are just adorable.

All my love, Agnes
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1st day / 3rd day

On The 1st Day Of Christmas My True Love Sent To Me ...

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December 14th: 1st Day

Dearest John:

I went to the door today and the postman delivered a partridge in a pear tree. What a delightful gift. I couldn't have been more surprised.

With dearest love and affection, Agnes
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2nd day ...

short link: http://goo.gl/4INvT

Mari Lwyd, An Old Midwinter Custom In Wales

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Who knew - Miss Celania from 8 Truly Strange Christmas Customs did:

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Mari Lwyd, an old midwinter custom in Wales, is a holdover from pagan celebrations before Christmas was introduced. Mari Lwyd means “gray mare” in English.
In its purest form (still to be seen at Llangynwyd, near Maesteg, every New Year’s Day) the tradition involves the arrival of the horse and its party at the door of the house or pub, where they sing several introductory verses. Then comes a battle of wits (known as pwnco) in which the people inside the door and the Mari party outside exchange challenges and insults in rhyme. At the end of the battle, which can be as long as the creativity of the two parties holds out, the Mari party enters with another song.
The horse in the above scenario is made of a horse’s skull attached to a pole. The person operating the horse is concealed by sheets, and sometimes has a contraption to work the horses jaw! (Image by Flickr user arosmae.)

Epic vs ZX81

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Epic vs ZX81 - Originally uploaded by epicbeer

Flight of the Conchords Invite Fans to Lip Dub

And there's nothing more I can say

New NZ Support Resource When A Sudden Death Happens

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Strange how the universe works eh, this "to all"email from Tricia Irving from skylight is, to be honest, spooky prescient - the PDF "attached" is here

Hello,

Attached is a PDF about Skylight's just launched support handbook DEATH WITHOUT WARNING - for people impacted by a sudden, unexpected death of any kind, including accidental death, natural sudden death, suicide and murder.

Published by Skylight, and launched last week by the Chief Coroner, Judge Neil MacLean, its publication has been supported by ACC and FDANZ (Funeral Directors Association of NZ).

Skylight has made sure it was released before the summer break, and expects this practical book to be invaluable for many bereaved in sudden circumstances - and for those supporting them professionally - as it contains key information about what happens after a sudden death, and about people or organisations that may be involved, as well as info about the trauma and grief that follows and strategies for managin…

My Kid's First Experience Of Death

Sadly Anna, Kindy teacher at Miramar Central, died last night from a brain aneurysm.

Jack had some great times at that Kindy and I know Anna was a part of that.

Meg has just started there last week and so, unfortunately, didn't have a chance to get to know her but she's now at a place that is dealing with death.

And so, we've now have "death in our lives".

We've explained what happened to Anna (in appropriate terms, no medical malarkey of course), how we still have great memories of her and how we can always see her in the photos.

All good really, close but not that close.
That will come.

*sigh* - RIP Anna and huge thoughts to her family and partner + kids.

Jeremy Clarkson, I Love Him And He Makes Me Laff

... and that's despite what he says - I've highlighted my favourite out of this lot from Adam's Jokeslist

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"I'm sorry, but having a DB9 on the drive and not driving it is a bit like having Keira Knightley in your bed and sleeping on the couch."



"... the last time someone was as wrong as you, was when a politician stepped off an aeroplane in 1939 waving a piece of paper in the air saying there will be no war with Germany "


Illustrating the lack of power of a Boxster: "It couldn't pull a greased stick out of a pig's bottom"


On the Vauxhall Vectra VXR: "there is a word to describe this car: it begins with 's' and ends with 't' and it isn't soot


"The Suzuki Wagon R should be avoided like unprotected sex with an Ethiopian transvestite"



"The air conditioning in a Lambos used to be an asthmatic sitting in the dashboard blowing at you through a straw."



"Koenigsegg are saying th…

A Neat Alternative To Google Search

Searchme has a neat search result interface that will be familiar to anyone using the Apple-esque "flip through CD cover" approach. Give it a go - Searchme: miramarmike

And here's what it looks like if you can't be arsed to go look for yourself:

What Is Wrong With This Stained Glass Window?

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Can ya spot it, the ever so slightly disturbing area of this piccie ... ?



From a StephenFry tweet

5 Kids Questions I've Had To Answer Recently

1: Why did Opo die?

2: When will the "storm" get here?

3: Why do you have to go to work?

4: Is this Ro'orua?

5: Can I get a drink of water / something to eat / read me a story? [delaying tactics]

They Love It

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Ok, so we have Che and Second Chef outputting a beast of a boy (and it's Che's fault as the only outcome dictated by the male is "size at birth")


And then we have Martha and Glenn wondering how big is this bugger gonna be???

My PQH Beats Your PQH Monday To Friday

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I have a theory ... care to hear it?
You will, sweet.

I take the bus into town on a fairly regular basis and I'm not alone in this endeavour. I mean I'm not alone on the bus, not just bus taking in general. Of course there is the driver but there are usually at least another half dozen fellow public bus passenger types, all staring intently out of the window endeavouring to avoid all possible human contact at any cost.

We bump along from bus stop to bus stop picking up more and more human avoiders. Unless we're on the 31 which stops just prior The Cutting (where the statues are going to go) before heading out at breakneck speed to our next port of call, stop 1 on Courtenay Place from which time on it's, "Sorry, this is an Express we don't pick up ... [wait for confusion on the part of the would-be-passenger to be expressed] Nah, mate, this is an express ... [plea to be let on] ... No, it's a 31, express, don't pick up ... [doors shut, we all look on as wo…

Why Does TradeMe Think It's Gonna Snow In New Zealand?

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I know it's trite to pick upon TradeMe for following the herd with the Southern Hemisphere Christmas decorations of snow, snowmen, jackets and everything Northern Hemisphere ("British").

But, well, really ... it's summer here!

Liz Is More Like Me Than ... Me

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According to ex.plode.us I have only 70% interests similar to myself ("Miramar Mike" and "Mike Riversdale") which puts me fourth in the list.

Liz, my wife, is more like me than ... me!?!?

Christmas Cartoons, Get 'Em Here

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Seems that the VERY old (and slightly smutty) Christmas cartoons I uploaded to Flickr many years ago (gotta keep 'em somewhere) are now a perennial find on my Flickr account, especially if you do a search on Yahoo!

Of course I claim no rights on the cartoons, I claim no ownership of the cartoons and have merely uploaded them from emails sent way back when ... but hey, enjoy them nonetheless.