It's Been A While But They're Back

At least I can feel them marching forward and it's time to tell the wobbly brain duo Depression & Anger to turn around and head back to where they came from.

The story so far.

I had a life of safety and loveliness, then Dad left at the time the hormones were flooding the teenage boys body. It was all a bit rough and a lot of feelings were never discussed let alone faced. A total breakdown in 2016 lead to the triple tactics of drugs, exercise, and support. 

That much we all know.

Life became peaceful, I worked hard, I became a different man.

Recently the support has been strong, my relationship with my kids grew, friends were and are amazing, and I really leant into the exercise especially after the Diabetes Type 2 notice from the Dr.

During my recent physical moves around the bottom of the North Island I misplaced the drugs. That's ok, let's see if I still need them. And for months it's been fine and dandy.

"A little angrier in the car than I remember Mike", she said.

There was also, "Woah, where did that argument come from?"

Last night the red mist descended and an angry and verbally loud Mike emerged again. It took everyone by surprise, me more than anyone. I had to work really really hard to gain equilibrium, I was lucky that my mates are such caring people that I don't seem to have burnt bridges along with a lot of love.

Ok, so that 'experiment', that, "Let's see what happens", is not an option - let's stop that. The wobbly brain is not something that can be "permanently fixed" but if it can be managed. Easily managed tbh, the drugs do work, the support makes a massive difference, and the exercise is both healthy and a lot of fun.

Picked up my prescription this afternoon. Teeny tiny pill taken, and within a few days I know life will be, well, quite different. The twins will be banished.

Life eh, it never fails to fascinate, to scare, or to be astounding.