What Happens When I Don't Take My Pill

What pills do I take?

• Citalopram Tablets 20mg
• Each tablet contains Citalopram hydrobromide equivalent to Citalopram 20mg.
• Also contains lactose.

How much and how often?

• One tablet per day. I take mine first thing in the morning

What happens when I don't?

I've missed taking the pills a few times over the past years (I started on Citalopram after coming off, um, coming off, er ... whatever it was I started in May 2016 as they wiped me out and I was just sleeping each and every day, ugh!

I don't skip taking a pill on purpose but, you know, life happens.

When I do the calming  training wheels for the brain sloooooowly come off. I don't really notice it in the first 24 hours, I might notice something in the next 24 hours, but by day 3 I will absolutely note that I am different and very quickly note that, "You've missed your pill Mike, doh!"

I can feel myself drifting away from reality, and definitely start to see everyone and everything through dark glasses. The patter of the black dog in the distance coming towards me started to get louder and it's time to pop the coping techniques into place! I also know it's duvet time, have low resilience to people, get "full", can get paranoid, and start reading the worst in situations.

When I catch myself in this moment, and I have everytime so far, then a pill is popped down, I take myself away ("duvet time") and once I have the next morning pill I am back out of it and the wheels are back on and away we go. Luckily it takes longer to fade away than it does to get back into it.

So there ya go.