Sentences That Need To Be More Than Merely Web Throwaways

Pop out and use these as many times as you can during the following day.

Do not get your genitals out in public.

Source: Mirth and Woe: ASBO fodder

"I'm pregnant, and I'd like you to know that you're not the father."
"Stands to reason. I've only ever done you up the bum."

Source: On random snippets of conversation

I noted the following as, "My Monday morning"

Source: garfield minus garfield

‘Obviously making the road wider won’t actually reduce congestion – it is more of a post-modern comment on the irony of shape, expressing the futility of modern road transport with an exciting piece of conceptual art. We’ve had diggers and cranes and men in yellow jackets and everything. It’s been great to look at from my helicopter. It’s not just me that likes it, either. Everyone been slowing down to have a look, which shows just how influential it’s been.’

Source: M1 roadworks revealed as 'conceptual art'

I am not afraid of many things, apart from big snarling dogs, people who merge with the motorway at forty-five miles per hour, pubs with no real ales and blue lights in the toilets, being given two tickets to see the band ‘The Feeling’ for my main birthday present, forgetting to cancel my free Sky trial subscription, comments (0), a Clegg government, the LTLP, the LTLP deciding that she wishes to become a man, discovering things contain marzipan, other big dogs that look like they might start snarling at some point, social situations, phone calls out of the blue from Tim Smith from the Steve Wright show saying ‘I hear you have a spare ticket for the band ‘The Feeling’, do you fancy going together?’, last orders, putting petrol in the diesel car, being caught re-using jokes, people who like snowboarding and any form of social shame whatsoever. But I am afraid of running.

Source: I go for a run.

I shoot her one of my best wolfish FILFy smiles.

Source: “My granddad used to do that!”