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The Forum: "Stuff by me" by Nige

From the Web 1.0 days I bring you The Forum. To preserve them for posterity as Geocities can no longer be found but also it's fun to re-read some of them.

This is from an old school friend of mine, Nige(l), as part of the "ad-hoc writers" column and is dated 3rd October, 2001.

Stuff by me
3rd October 2001
Hello, it's me.

How are you? What's the latest?

Send me any old crap - naiive enough to believe it. Had a wierd dream last night. The old gang had a reunion and dressed up in all the crap we used to wear (I have no idea how these clothes fitted!). Then when I turned up they all went to another pub. This kept happening and they didnt want to go to any of the pubs I suggested.

I have no ideas what this means, apart from me having a huge inferiority complex... :-) Or that I should give up on my herbal tea before bedtime. Hmmm.

I`ve been over to Madrid for some business last week until yesterday. Some of my Spnish came back to me, but only the important stuff like "2 beers, please" and "another 2 beers please". And the like. Usual approach is just to speak s l o w l y and shout at them. They normally get the point.

Apart from that it's business as usual. Enjoying a hard time in dsivision 3 of the squash league, and looking forweard to a return to opponents I can actively compete with in division 4 next month. All I`m doing here is chasing shadows. Most demoralising!

Hey: today's claim to fame. Sister of the girlfriend of workmate won some TV show called "Soapstars" on the weekend. Her "prize" is 3 months paid work as a member of the Emmerdale Farm cast. Apparantly the tabloids are already gettign stuck into her past, and I`ve requested some photos from said workmate to make a few bucks on the side. Problem is he's keeping schtum. Seems like he is going away with girlfriend and sister in January (waaaayy-haaaaay) and is concerned about the paparrazzi. He should be; just wait until I pass on details to the News of the World that "Emmerdale actress is involved in bizarre love triangle abroad". anything for a few quid more. "Please leave your principles in the jar by the door as you enter. Thank you." Who needs a conscience.

Gettign geared up for this Saturday's final qualifier against Greece. Sven for PM, I say! He might be a foreigner, but he's OUR foreigner.

Great expectations for the world Cup next year, if we are still here and not tucked away in a bunker somewhere...Perhaps we should sort all of this Bin Laden shit out with a game of footie. Hmmmm, DISADVANTAGE - Septics can't play football. ADVANTAGE - Bin Laden will keep tripping over his beard.

We should be alright as long as it don't go to penalties. D`oh!

Working hard to delete my imminent birthdate from all official files so I can now start lying about it. Billy Connolly had the right idea: "When you lie about your age, lie upwards. Tell `em you're 97 and they will all say you look good for your age."

Ho-hum. Just thought it was about time I reminded you I existed, cunningly including a reminder that I will be happy to accept your cards and presents next time we meet.

Gotta go destroy some more official paperwork.

See ya soon