Poo eases out from its holding pattern and begins its gentle descent towards my pants.

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Funniest and most unexpected line I've read in quite a while - good old JonnyB

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The Difference Between One Million And One Billion

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It's feels like a billion is just a bit bigger than a million. Obviously it's bigger but it fits on the same scale as a million, surely. It doesn't. A billion is so so so much bigger than a million. I've trawled the internet finding graphics and videos that show the VAST difference between one million and one billion. Oh, and just to finish with a different misconception about space starting with the classic opening line from the great Douglas Adams and The Hitchhiker's Guide To The Galaxy : “Space is big. You just won't believe how vastly, hugely, mind-bogglingly big it is. I mean, you may think it's a long way down the road to the chemist's, but that's just peanuts to space.”

It's All Going To Change

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Exponential is gonna make this world of humans very very different. What the fuck is " exponential change " Mike? I, you, and all humans are built to see change in a linear way. A wolf accelerating at a set rate is going to slowly catch us, but we know when, and therefore where (see how clever we are), so we get tricksy and make plans to not be there and then, hah, take that wolf! The wolf starts out at 1 kmh, but speeds up at 2 kmh. It's now at 3 kmh, but hang on it's still getting faster, now at 5 kmh. Christ this wolf is still going, 7 kmh. Meh, we can run at 10 kmh. It adds another 2 kmh, ok, it's catching up. 9 kmh, we're starting to worry and make plans. Wow, the wolf is now 11 kmh, probably a blur but s'ok as it is slower than a bike so maybe we use that. Oh noes, another 2 kmh, that's 13 kmh. A spurt from the wolf and it's now 15 kmh, and one more boost, up to 17 kmh. Within only 9 steps this damn wolf is now running at us at 17 kmh. We...

W. C. Fields quotes

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The office has all been moved around - new desks (with starter handles to raise and lower them), new high(er) speed network and ... the same old work. At least I have a differing view of the world, my team (well, the team I'm a part of not "my" team) is a lot closer - finally - and it's like an office from the 80's ... or even a classroom. But I still have time to move the crap off the PC : ------ Any man who hates dogs and loves whiskey can't be all bad. Anyone who hates Dogs and Kids Can't be All Bad. Hey! Who took the cork off my lunch??! Who stole the cork from my breakfast? Now don't say you can't swear off drinking, it's easy. I've done it a thousand times. Horse sense is the thing a horse has which keeps it from betting on people. If at first you don't succeed, try, try, again. Then quit, no use being a damn fool about things. Madam, there's no such thing as a tough child - if you parboil them first for seven hours, they alwa...

9 More Things I've Done

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I've done a lot of things but I've done 9 things off my " It's later than you think " / " I've Never See Star Wars " list I've talked about the Poptart , Mills & Boon , and Footloose already, so here's the other 6. Walk The Southern Walkway (Wellington)  - 7/10 The Southern Walkway is an 11km walk along the Town Belt between Oriental Bay and Island Bay. The total walk can be completed in 4–5 hours depending on fitness and interest. [source: Explore Wellington - Southern Walkway Map PDF ] I can't remember when I did it, but I do recall it being a lot easier than I thought it would be. It's a perfect walk for a nice summer's day tbh, get amongst it! Watch a Bruce Lee movie - 4/10 It was Enter The Dragon ... hmmm, not sure I really enjoyed it tbh. A lot of slapstick nicest with the hits, the story was ok, and definitely felt of it's time. I can imagine it was very different back then, and Bruce Lee is, OK, but yeah, not my ...

Series 2 Starts With An Episode About Burnout & Suicidal Thoughts

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Kicking off series 2 of  Mike's Audio Summaries podcast in which I take blog posts and supporting web articles into Google's NotebookLM AI to create an audio "deep dive". Long time readers, friends, and family will know my time with a "wobbly brain" and some of the posts I have published over the years on mental health and specifically suicidal thoughts. This episode, Burnout & Suicidal Thoughts , is a positive, hopeful, and action orientated discussion on those subjects. Aotearoa New Zealand 1737 – Free call or text 1737 Lifeline – 0800 543 354 Youthline – 0800 376 633, free text 234  Samaritans – 0800 726 666 Suicide Crisis Helpline – 0508 828 865  What's Up – 0800 942 8787 (for 5–18 year olds) Kidsline – 0800 54 37 54, free text 5626 Anxiety New Zealand -  0800 269 4389 UK Samaritans 116 123 HOPELineUK 0800 068 41 41 CALM 0800 58 58 58 Lifeline (Northern Ireland) 0808 808 8000 Community Advice & Listening Line (Wales) 0800 132 737 (24/7) or...

Happy Birthday This Blog, 20 Years Old

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It's been a source of laughs, a place of catharsis, times to be brave and open, and all with a lovely regularity that I enjoy. I published my first post back in December 2004 which kicked of a number of years during which I posting daily. This faded to a dribble as Facebook and Twitter replaced the posts, and rushed back as I realised that social media is ephemera, useful for sharing but of no use keeping things. So, 20 years ... I'm not gonna link you to stuff here, it's all available in search, labels at the bottom, but maybe a follow the links in This Is My (Blog) Life .

Exotic, Amazing, and Idyllic View

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I am both of the exotic and the mundane, of reality and fantastical, but mostly of the dream. I live in Aotearoa New Zealand because of a book. It was my Uncle's 'boys own adventure' book from the 1920s (I think) that included a chapter about Pelorus Jack , a Risso's dolphin that was famous for meeting and escorting ships through a stretch of water in Cook Strait from 1888 until his disappearance after 1912. The story wasn't particularly adventurous but, to my young mind, I was being transported to another part of the universe. A country that was so exotic, so amazing, so idyllic. I've lived in that part of the universe for more years than I've lived anywhere else.  Thankfully I still experience it with my 11 year olds eyes, so exotic, amazing, and idyllic. I also see it for the reality it is, it's struggles, attitudes, loves, victories, hates, loves, and differences. I am the luckiest person.

Online Vitriol Is Low Level Poison, It Will Kill You Eventually

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#BeKind It's a simple act, takes very little energy to perform, but a whole stack of courage and grown-upness to do. Being a cunt it so much easier. Being a dick takes no thinking. Being a tit is being in neutral gear. Being kind is remarkably rare, and yet everyone thinks they can do it at the drop of a meme. Try it, right now, be kind ... no, seriously, I'll wait ... if it's so easy to do, "I could do that whenever I wanted" ... try it, right now ... this post will be here when you come back ... Go on, be kind. I hope you were kind. But I don't think you were, right then, you didn't actually actively do anything did you? "FUCK YOU MIKE! Telling me what to do, go fuck yourself, fucking gonna leave a comment and tell you what I think about being kind, I could be kind whenever I want, not fucking for you to tell me what to do, you sick fucking bastard, bet you're in love with Cindy Arrdern, that shit for brains witch." Let loose, go on. Or, be...

Citizens' War Memorial

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It's quite the memorial tbf. The movie Metropolis comes to mind, or even the book Atlas Shrugged (a nasty shitty book). It also has some big Marvel Universe Thor Valhalla vibes. The figures on the 1937  Citizens' War Memorial represent, Youth, Justice, Peace, Sacrifice, and Valour. Sure, why not. The woman with her breasts out (WTF? oh, it's an angel, of course it is) bending the sword isn't named, but I like to think of her as Marlene. The figures, based on the sculptor’s family, staff and friends, had intensely individual faces .. It was created by the monumental sculptor, well a monumental something, William Trethewey (1892 – 1956), who represents in this work everything I shudder about when it comes to the British Empire and those that colonised Aotearoa New Zealand. I took photos from all angles coz it deserves it out of sheer amazement.