Money for you

Email I received today that YOU need to act upon ...

Mr. Scott Stuart.

Dear Friend,

Yeah, whatever ...

Do accept my sincere apologies if my mail does not meet your personal ethics, but let it remains as top secret for only you and I.

In essence, "If I've annoyed you then please don't tell anyone " ... an interesting proposition ... sorry, I blogged ya!

I will introduce myself as Mr Scott, a staff in the Accounts Management Section of a well-known bank in Europe.

And let me introduce myself, I am Mrs Daphne Fairfax of 37 The Towers, Tulse Hill. I am not all the staff (as you claim) but only one of many working in the Sarf Lahndan Fraud Squad ... we're onto you "Mr" Scott.

One of our accounts with holding balance of US$20,000,000(Twenty Millions US Dollars) has been Dormant and has not been operated for the past 5 years.

Dormant you say, earning no interest, hmm, not so sure I like your investment strategies "Mr" Scott. Pray continue ...

From my investigations and confirmations, the owner of this account a foreigner, died in August 2000 and since his death nobody has done anything as regards the claiming of this money because he has no family members who were aware of the existence of neither the account nor the funds, also, information from the National Immigration stated that he was also single on entry into Europe.

Whoa there sport! How did you find out about "National Immigration", I thought we'd kept the fact that Australia is being taken over by Aotearoa a top level secret ...darn, must have been one of those loose mouthed Bondi operatives talking out of turn again!

I had discussed this matter with some of my bank Top Officials

... "Mrs" Scott no doubt ...

and we have agreed to find a Reliable Partner to deal with. We thus propose to do business with you, standing in as the NEXT OF KIN to the deceased, and funds will be released to you after due processes have been followed and necessary documentation to back this up will be presented.

Oooh, can I be a sister?

This transaction is totally free of risk and troubles as the fund is legitimate and does not originate from Drug, Money Laundry, Terrorism or any other illegal act.

Phew, because I have to say I was starting to get a little suspicious. Thanks for being so honest and up front by tackling these difficult issues in a forthright manner and now we can get on with the real issues, how do I get my hands on the lolly?

Also, after a successful completion of this transaction, we intend to give you 30% and 10% for whatever expenses that we both may incur, while 60% of the total amount will be for us which we also intend to invest in your country in any good business venture that you will introduce.

Um, is that [brings up calculator] ... 40% ... or is the 30%/10% split some exotic accounting process your "Top Officials" have insisted you follow?

If you are interested, send me the following information via email to me so that we can start processing this transaction: -

1 Complete Names (First and Last Names)
2 Full Address.
3. Phone and Fax numbers (for proper communication.)
4. Occupation, Age and Marital Status.

Um, no!

Thank you for your understanding and reply to
Mr. Scott

Well, a stirling effort. Not as funny as the classics (here and here) but equally as good as the previous spam email.


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