Spam email: good start but ...

I love ....

National Lottery Headquarters??
Customer Service
an Affiliate of
watergate inc.
28 Tanfield Road,
Croydon. London
Ref: EAASL/931OLI/02
Batch: 2/05/YH60

... (my emphasis) but then it just becomes boring and normal ...

Mrs Anna Adams.(Coordinator)

... sounds like a nice person something like "Bridget Jones", inoffensive, commonplace and "non-scammy" ...

We happily announce to you the draw of the National Sweepstake
Lottery International programs held on the 1 of 6th 2006 in
London.Your Name and e-mail address attached to ticket number: 964
75600545866 with Serial number 8388/02 drew the lucky umbers:
52-3-26-13-35-9,which subsequently won you the lottery in the 2nd

... FUCK! I didn't even win ... all those facts and figures don't hide the fact that I came 2nd! If you're gonna scam me go then I want to be God! *sheesh*'

You are therefore, been approved to claim a total sum of
£2,500.000( TWO MILLION FIVE HUNDRED THOUSAND POUDS) in cash credited to file KPC/6080118308/02.This is from a total cash prize of £75 Million pound.

... blah blah blah ...

Please note that your lucky winning number falls within our European
booklet representative office in Europe as indicated in our play

"Booklet" - why not just say Beano and be done with it!

In view of this, your £2,500.000( TWO MILLION FIVE HUNDRED
would be released to you by our affiliate bank in London.Our agent will
immediately commence the process to facilitate the release of your
funds to you as soon as you make contact with him.


All participants were selected randomly from World Wide Web site

... that would be THE "World Wide Web site" ... the one we all go to ...

through computer draw system and extracted from over 100,000
companies.This promotion takes place annually. For security
reasons, you are advised to keep your
winning information confidential till your claims is processed and your
money remitted to you in whatever manner you deem fit to claimyour

Standard, "Don't tell" clause ... it's so boring and uselesss ...

This is a part of our precautionary measure to avoid double
claiming and unwarranted abuse of this program by some unscrupulous

Ooooooooooooooooh ... I retract former statement and see where you're coming from ... (fuckwits)

Please be warned.To file for your claim, please contact The
Officerincharges with the below details for processing of your claims.
TEL +447040121324

"TheOfficerincharges" - unavailableble so I tried "Themanthatknowsallandcantell"- at lunch, and "Shewhomustbeobeyed" - at the hairdresser, finally I resorted to, "Sayhitoeveryonethatknowsme" but once again they were all busy so, Dr Williams it is ... oh, and if anyone can call that UK number for me and tell us what's at the end of it we'd be interested ...

To avoid unnecessary delays and complications, please quote your
reference/batch numbers in any correspondences with us or our
designated agent.Congratulations once more from all members and staffs
of this program.Thank you for being part of our promotional lottery
program. Sincerely,

Cher bro' - um, what reference/batch numbers are they then ... sorry, seem to have missed that part, um, hope this doesn't stop the money coming to me (sorry, I'm a bit drunk and the actual details are swimming past ... *hic*)

Anna Adams.
EURO-ASIAN Zonal Coordinator

Maaate, EURO-ASIAN Zonal Coordinator sounds sooo cool, like Star Trek-cool ... no, NO ... like a "second-in-command" for a 007 arch-enemy ...

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