Ask For What You Want

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 "Can I have that TV?"

I can't recall where I first heard that someone would ask either that question, or something similar, but I do recall thinking it was so ballsy. It turns out that it's not at all, it's just asking for what you want. The trick of course is to accept a, "No." with grace. Mostly you'll be told, "No." a lot, and that's fine, there's nothing wrong with asking and getting a no.

Three points float up for me as I write.

1: Don't ask the same person over and over again. Even if you're coming at it from the same naive position that you have always it's gonna come across as harassment. You'll browbeat the person into giving you something, or hear them telling you to fuck off.

2: Recognise the power dynamic between you and the person you're asking. "Can I have that TV" is very different if you're the landlord and they are the tenant. "Can we have sex?", or however you ask, is a massive power dynamic that, when younger, I wasn't really cognisant of - even now I'm not too sure about it, so I don't ask.

3: If someone says, "Yes." always say thank you. It's an amazing thing they have done, they were probably a little shocked that you asked for what you wanted, but weighed it all up, and said, "Yes."

Thank you Adam, it was a fine fine TV.

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