My Most Embarrassing Moment

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I have in my head three cringe worthy moments in my life. Those memories that have you making that noise and curl your body when they pop into your mind, "What the hell was I thinking?!"

One I remember and will share one day, another has now faded so far away that I'm not even sure it was me.

And then there's this.


About 35 years ago, I was around 20 years-old, it was my first proper job working in a head office in Swindon and it was everything I had hoped pod life would be. The team became mates, the bosses were supportive and lovely, I was challenged and got to show off both my skills and personality in a way I had always believed grown up life would allow.

After about a year one of my colleagues decided to throw a home party for all her work colleagues to celebrate something, a leaving do perhaps.

Her small cottage was humming, music was playing, drinks were flowing, and everyone was having a grand time.

One of my first work heroes, Dave, a lovely man who I shall forever compare all work bosses to, arrived with his new partner, Dianne. We had all heard about his new special lady friend and were keen to meet her.

Dave and Dianne grabbed a drink, and made their way around the room introducing themselves. People were all very smiley and happy to meet Dianne.

The young ones, myself included, waited our turn and, as they came our way, three of us lined up to shake hands and welcome them into the party.

"Hi Mike, let me introduce you to Dianne, she's been very keen to meet you", Dave calmly said.

Maybe it was the lovely introduction, perhaps it was the fact that we three were stood in a line, but truly I will never know what was going on in my mind.

I took Dianne's hand and, with a flourish, my knee dropped and I produced the finest of curtseys.

I died on the spot.

"WHAT THE ACTUAL MIKE? WHY DID YOU DO THAT?"

I now replay it in my mind as being on a 1970s TV 'Royal Variety Show behind scenes' moment, with me the top billed singer, perhaps Shirley Bassey, being introduced to the Queen.

Dianne laughed, Dave looked quizzical, and my fellow young ones stared at me as if I had lost my mind, because I obviously had. 

It was never spoken of but I still think of my mad curtsey moment.

John, please rid me of my shame.

That embarrassing time (or near it) for Mike at a house party in the 1990s
Mike post-curtsey with Dave and Dianne who has sensibly moved on
Uffington, Faringdon SN7, UK

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