Murder In The Villages

Hahaha, great post, "Your guide to not getting murdered in a quaint english village, for everyone that loves a good murder in a UK village", be it from a book, on the big screen, or via the gogglebox.
Higher floors
Stay low. They can’t throw you off the balcony if you never go up the stairs.
The stairs
They are the xylophones of death. 
Lower floors
Marble busts fall down, not up. 
Basements
They don’t even have to dig a hole to put you in.

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