I Read A Mills And Boon, It Took 2 Hours

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And I felt dirty ... in the sense of my mind had shit slopping around in it.

Why did I read it, coz I'd never done it before. Never again and neither should anyone else, especially young women. As a new and novel (!) experience I give it 1 out of 10, but for the actual book itself, -104,184 out of 10 and this is for one that appeared in most of the "Best Mills and Boon's Ever" type lists, *sheesh*

I made notes as I went and I can't be arsed to give this book more than jottings:

  • Sexist garbage - power hungry man - "He made me" - sure, it's all down to his gift, his money, his options, his allowing it 'to be', him showing her true self. She's a virgin. Of course
  • Crap writing - it was of such a low standard that any teenager, and I do teenagers a disservice, has a greater grasp of how to write a novel
  • Predictable story - from page 1 you know exactly how it's gonna end, and it does. Maybe the plot isn't the point though. Oh, I did want to find out how it ended - sicko - and I was right, I felt cheated as NOTHING happened to even hint that it might not be as cliched as it obviously was.
  • Overuse of key phrases - "long eyelashes", "swell of her breasts" - breasts are obviously the shorthand for getting randy but one can't say wet and so it's about pulsating, heaving, engorning, straining  breasts - bloody hell, "She can't handle it Cap'n, she's gonna blow!"
  • It's about the looks - in chapter 1 it is explicitly stated that a woman can't be lovable if she is fat. I took a screenshot it's below. But have no hear, it's just her clothes and he fancies her once he realises it.
  • The plot is Cinderella - not even hiding it, evil stepmother, evil stepsister, living in "her home", the Prince comes to rescue you her.
  • Racist - aimed at female Brexit loving Daily Mail readers, probably of a certain age but maybe not.
  • The ONE sex scene was pathetic - we hear loads about her breasts, he has taught shoulders and then there's a lot of thrashing and I believe they both came but despite re-reading I couldn't really understand what was happening - see below. Sex without talking about sex
My lasting thought was, "Hardcore porn is 'sex' performed by stunt people and has nothing to do with actual sex. This is exactly the same but at the other end of the scale. Both are as insidious and dangerous as each other."

I hate Mills and Boon.

Two astounding sections

The fat shaming is just amazing - think of a young woman reading this absolute garbage and believing that this is OK, or even normal for others to be thinking.
It continues pressing the point, there's no way anyone should leave this opening chapter thinking it's OK to love ya body, that's just "sad". But don't worry, she's not a total lost cause as she's not really fat, she just doesn't know how to dress properly and rest assured HE will sort that out in chapters to come.

I did chose from the Mills and Boon "Sexy" label as I just wasn't up for endless swooning ... but the one and only sex scene was, weird, I am still unsure what actually happened.

As for his orgasm, I had to search for it as it's heavily hinted but I just couldn't find it - and there's no way the MAN isn't going to cum, jeez what do you think sex is for?! I believe it's the line, "And then, with the slightest shift in muscle, he moved, letting himself release.", but I could be mistaken.

This takes place after a lot of snogging, undressing, and nipple work.


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