The Forum: "Fat Chance!" a "Post-It From London" - by Kate Ayres (London, UK)

From the Web 1.0 days I bring you The Forum. To preserve them for posterity as Geocities can no longer be found but also it's fun to re-read some of them.

26th January, 2002

Well, first and foremost, Happy New Year for 2002 and what a start to the second year after the Millennium, when, if you remember rightly, the world was going to stop and your computer was going to rule the world… oh happy days….

Right, what delights currently await the unwary in London? Well, after the “season of excess”, we now find ourselves in the “season of success” and that can and is only measured by the size of your… girth! Yep guys and gals the “quick I need to lose 240 llbs now” season is in full swing.. and to my chagrin I am also on this treadmill… woops sorry for the pun.

I got ill in December and ended up being rather poorly, incapable of exercise and my arse is the size of small country at the moment.. but not for long.. the latest wheeze in London is “the patch”. You’ve heard of the smoking patch and the contraceptive patch… now you can get the “iodine patch” to help aid weight loss. This revolutionary little plaster (elastoplast for those not from the UK!) is the way, apparently, all drugs will soon be administered. It's designed to give a measured dose and kick your metabolism into touch.. the take up has been huge.. Now I don’t know about you but the thought that very soon all medicines will end up being stuck to your body fills me with dread… How the hell will you know which one is which???? And what if you pull the wrong one off???? What the hell happens???? The patches are supposed to be used in conjunction with the gym and punishing yourself with that horrible fitness trainer who believes he’s the PT instructor from GI Jane!! But as I will be consumer testing them shortly… I will let you know how I get on…

And there’s more…. Rehearsals for me for the production of “Cabaret” are now in full swing and I am in my element! My name is Fritzie in the show and, to use my directors’ vernacular “has to work the audience and her friend….” Well, after hysterics I have got down to the business of being a tart in the Kit Kat Club quite well. I cannot wait for my next rehearsal ! Oh boy somebody warn my dad not to get upset.. its really quite coarse… oh goody! I know that Mikey Boyle himself is an afficionado of “Cabaret”.. so I hope our production does the original writings by Christopher Isherwood proud. The reason I need to shed poundage also has to do with the lack of costumes I will be wearing in March.. blimey, don’t they know it can snow in March in Britain???

Anyway, whilst the UK slowly gets back to pre-Christmas work levels I must away to the gym… next Forum shortly.. Take care and remember if somebody tells you to put a plaster on it.. REFUSE!


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