Gigantic Typewriter

There is so much in this that screams WELLINGTON! Find the 10 "This has to be Wellington" items, and list them below to be in to win ...

What is a good Apple laptop for me?

I don't know my Apple iBook from a hole in the the ground - assistance is required.

What I want a laptop to do (Apple or Windows based):
  • WiFi access
  • Plug straight into a TV
  • Play any region DVDs
  • Be fast enough to cope with YouTube, Joost and the like, in full screen
  • Run Firefox
  • Run Skype
  • Store and play my whole CD collection (in a 'mobile' format and not with some DRM crap)
  • Cheap to buy (I'm thinking TradeMe - good idea?)
And that's it really.

Thanks in advance to assistance/advice via email ( and/or left as a comment