Ick ... is this you?

By /
Flickr: not looking wellFrom Neal Stephenson’s Cryptonomicon via Dave Snowden regarding your body (and mine, I s'pose):
The room contained a few dozen living human bodies, each one a big sack of guts and fluids so highly compressed that it will squirt for a few yards when pierced. Each one is built around an armature of 206 bones connected to each other by notoriously fault-prone joints that are given to obnoxious creaking, grinding, and popping noises when they are in other than pristine condition. This structure is draped with throbbing steak, inflated with clenching air sacks, and pierced by a Gordian sewer filling with burbling acid and compressed gas and asquirt with vile enzymes and solvents produced by many dark, gamy nuggets of genetically programmed meat strung along its length. Slugs of dissolving food are forced down this sloppy labyrinth by sterilized convulsions, decaying into gas, liquid, and solid matter which must be regularly vented to the outside world lest the owner go toxic and drop dead. Spherical, gel packed cameras swivel in mucas-greased ball joints. Infinite phalanxes of cilia beat back invading particles, encapsulate them in goo for later disposal. In each body a centrally located muscle flails away at an external circulating torrent of pressurized gravity.

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular articles

Regulatory Standards Bill: Submission Guidance & Assistance [Updated]

Image
*phew*, this is hard work. Unlike the Treaty Principles Bill which has a tonne of templates and publicly available submissions for you to copy/amend/submit, the Regulatory Standards Bill has very little out there. Update 14-Jan-2024: Did I Miss The Submission? (spoiler, no ) -------- Submission form:  https://consultation.regulation.govt.nz/rsb/have-your-say-on-regulatory-standards-bill/consultation/intro/ Email your submission to:  RSBconsultation@regulation.govt.nz More: Explanation & Submission [Updated] What Is A "Person" [Update 8-Jan-2024] Emily Writes (Jan 06, 2025) being awesome, OK fine, what submissions do I have to make FFS?! , "Don't worry - I got you. Here's everything you need in one place!" : Bill: The Regulatory Standards Bill Do it by: 13 January 2024. Why should I care? This bill is the twin to the Treaty Principles Bill. So much so that you can use your submission for that bill as the template to this one. It has been described as: Th...

Regulatory Standards Bill: Explanation & Submission [Updated]

Image
You've done  your Treaty Principles Bill submission , and that was a piece of cake eh. If that's what all Bill submissions are like then bring it on, the voice of the masses can be finally heard. Update 14-Jan-2024: Did I Miss The Submission? (spoiler, no) -------- Submission form:  https://consultation.regulation.govt.nz/rsb/have-your-say-on-regulatory-standards-bill/consultation/intro/ Email your submission to:  RSBconsultation@regulation.govt.nz More: Submission Guidance & Assistance [Updated] What Is A "Person" Hmmmm, seems it's different for each Bill, which sort of makes sense. The Treaty Principles Bill is something that's not going anywhere no matter what happens, so it's been made very much a, "Tell us what you think and what could be done", expecting a tsunami of, "It's crap, throw it away". The response is gonna be, "Ok, we asked and we're gonna throw it away, as we were gonna anyway." There are Bills t...

The Difference Between One Million And One Billion

Image
It feels like a billion is just a bit bigger than a million. Obviously it's bigger but it fits on the same scale as a million, surely. It doesn't. A billion is so so so much bigger than a million. I've trawled the internet finding graphics and videos that show the VAST difference between one million and one billion. Oh, and just to finish with a different misconception about space starting with the classic opening line from the great Douglas Adams and The Hitchhiker's Guide To The Galaxy : “Space is big. You just won't believe how vastly, hugely, mind-bogglingly big it is. I mean, you may think it's a long way down the road to the chemist's, but that's just peanuts to space.”

Regulatory Standards Bill: What Is A "Person"

Image
Apart from the timing and the large set of questions (which you don't have to answer, just send in the submission for you want), the most insidious part of the Bill is the use of the word "persons". Update 14-Jan-2024: Did I Miss The Submission? (spoiler, no) -------- Submission form:  https://consultation.regulation.govt.nz/rsb/have-your-say-on-regulatory-standards-bill/consultation/intro/ Email your submission to:  RSBconsultation@regulation.govt.nz More: Explanation & Submission Guidance & Assistance [Updated] I take this from the extremely helpful and detailed, Proposed Regulatory Standards Bill : Explainer & Submission Guide , written by Jen Bennett and Melanie Nelson with contributions from several others. What does “individual” or “person” mean in this Bill? Most government action should think about all of us - not just some of us. The Regulatory Standards Bill (RSB) focuses on individual interests. In the Bill the term "individual" or “perso...

Regulatory Standards Bill - Extension NOT Extended

Image
On ya, finally got to submit your  Treaty 'Principles' Bill thoughts  BUT that's only part one of two! Don't be fooled into thinking you've done your dash, the Treaty Principles Bill was probably always going to die and absolutely will now because of the overwhelming public disdain for it, your submission will add to that - top work! The Regulatory Standards Bill is sneaking in behind, like a Slytherin behind Potter, and if passed could be a game changer for this country ... it's astounding. I can't say it better than Emily Writes, and her awesome Jan 6th post, OK fine, what submissions do I have to make FFS?! , "Don't worry - I got you. Here's everything you need in one place!" , so I won't: Bill : The Regulatory Standards Bill Do it by : 13 January 2024. Why should I care? This bill is the twin to the Treaty Principles Bill. So much so that you can use your submission for that bill as the template to this one. It has been described ...

"Right Wing" Comedians

Image
Too many people comfortably plump themselves into an army of one type or another . Surrounded by those that sound like you, listen to you intently whilst nodding, and echo your thoughts on why the fight is a good fight and that the other side are such bad terrible people. I used to be more like that than I am nowadays ... hmmmm, aren't we humans meant to become more conservative and reactionary as we age, strange Mike. These thoughts have me thinking of two UK comedians that have been tagged as "right wing", which is putting them into an army for the benefit of someone but, I suspect, not them. First up,  Simon Evans who makes me laugh when he's talking about his family, kids, and life in Brighton. He then hit my ears big time with: Simon Evans Goes to Market , has had six seasons, delighting audiences with his witty and insightful take on the comedically unpromising territory of economics, all of which prove among the most popular downloads on the Sounds App. On the...

W. C. Fields quotes

Image
The office has all been moved around - new desks (with starter handles to raise and lower them), new high(er) speed network and ... the same old work. At least I have a differing view of the world, my team (well, the team I'm a part of not "my" team) is a lot closer - finally - and it's like an office from the 80's ... or even a classroom. But I still have time to move the crap off the PC : ------ Any man who hates dogs and loves whiskey can't be all bad. Anyone who hates Dogs and Kids Can't be All Bad. Hey! Who took the cork off my lunch??! Who stole the cork from my breakfast? Now don't say you can't swear off drinking, it's easy. I've done it a thousand times. Horse sense is the thing a horse has which keeps it from betting on people. If at first you don't succeed, try, try, again. Then quit, no use being a damn fool about things. Madam, there's no such thing as a tough child - if you parboil them first for seven hours, they alwa...

The Cookie Time DC-3, I Found It

Image
Every Kiwi that has ever been on a roadtrip up / down State Highway 1 knows about the Mangaweka Cookie Time Douglas DC-3 café. You may stopped off and had a look around inside, the kids and I certainly have. But in 2021 it was suddenly gone, what happened? Well, it seems the plane was owned by two Mangawekan (?) business people who had a falling out. One dark and stormy night one decided to ship it away without the knowledge of the other (sort of). Shifting the plane meant they had to take the wings off first and now the body lives in Shannon at 2 Ballance Street, just next to the Club Hotel / bar.  Apparently it's being restored and will go back .. it won't. The wings, well who knows where they disappeared to but I understand they're not gonna be joining the body anytime soon. A little history lesson for us all: ZK-APK was delivered to the RNZAF in August 1945, then sold to the newly-formed National Airways Corporation (NAC) in 1947 and given the name Poaka. NAC was New Ze...

Do The Shake 'n' Vac And Put The Freshness Back

Image
How advertising jingles influence our buying choices (and why we can still sing them decades later) Recent market research found that several of the ten most recognisable jingles for UK adults dated back three or even four decades. While comparison site Go Compare topped the list, Mars’ “work, rest and play” jingle (axed in the mid-1990s) and even Shake ‘n’ Vac “put the freshness back” (1980) are still buzzing about in the heads of those polled. ... Research has shown that the period when we are around ten to 25 years old tends to be remembered most vividly. Music cues are also best at tapping into memories of this period, which is known as the “reminiscence bump”.