Need A Smile, Got A Joke?

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So I txt out "Need a smile, got a joke?" to a bunch of friends on the way home today as it's been a strange few days. Flat, that's the only way I can describe it really - post-everything blues, waiting for the next stage, wandering what now ... all that.

And here's the funny-as responses that made me laugh out loud on the bus.
(aren't people awesome!)

... Got a joke?

Me running :-)

What do you get when you cross a mean dog and a computer?
A mega-bite

While reading the newspaper Walter came across an article about a beautiful acrrwss and model who married a boxer who was noted for his IQ. "I'll never understand," he said to his wife, "why the biggest jerks get the most attractive wives." His wife replid, "Why thank you, dear"

Why did the koala fall out of the tree?
He was dead.

Why did the elephant fall out of the tree?
It was sellotaped to the koala.

My girlfriend thinks I'm a stalker. Well technically she's not my girlfriend yet.

My love life.

Mick is driving past the bus stop and see Paddy standing there, "Want a lift?" asks Mick. "Better not", says Paddy, "I will miss my bus".

What do you get when you cross a rooster with peanut butter.
A cock that sticks to the top of your mouth.

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