Anti-RWC: 10 ways survive the onslaught if you don't give a stuff about rugby

As is evident from the sliding number of readers to the blog* I suspect there's a few people that have decided to skip MiramarMike until at least mid-October.

And fair enough.

Not everyone likes rugby.

For those strange and slightly pale people I would point you towards the NZ Herald article titled, Some people (gasp) just don't care about rugby, and in particular to the top 10 survival tips (which is doing the email rounds at the mo'):
1. Don't talk during the game or ask questions if you don't understand what's going on - best to feign knowledge through silence. And don't save your talking up for half-time, that's for the commentary team not you.

2. Three minutes to fulltime, the score tied, with a drop-kick all that's standing between the All Blacks winning ... it's not the time to ask whether you should go to his parents for Christmas or yours

3. No matter how cute and fit you find those finely tuned and highly skilled professional athletes, keep the "Phwoar!!" comments to a minimum. It only validates his ogling the Sports Illustrated swimsuit edition. Also be sensitive if you are captivated by all those toned manly thighs - oh those thighs - it may not be appreciated if your partner has spent the past month eating chicken wings and drinking beer on the sofa.

4. Tap into emotional blackmail. Now is the time to splurge on all those "must have" items which rising interest rates and shaky finance companies have put paid to. Neglect should have its financial rewards.

5. Harmless language can have a loaded meaning during the RWC. "Food-poisoning", "out with injury" and "choking" should not be bandied about during All Black games, they will not see the funny side.

6. Don't ask your partner to explain the breakdown of the scrum. Not only will it confuse you but it will only prove that he doesn't understand it either.

7. Have distractions on hand should the worst happen. Snacks, toys, tissues, a comfort blanket, a tape of the 1987 RWC win, anything which will help ease the agony of another four years lost.

8. Do not underestimate the importance of replayed games and highlights packages. It may seem like watching paint dry to you but, as we know, once is never enough for a man. Likewise, if you hear a result from another pool match let him find out on his own - especially if it involves France, South Africa or Australia storming to yet another on-form victory.

9. Accept you will attend social gatherings, which do not revolve around rugby, by yourself until the tournament is over. This includes anything involving births, deaths and marriages. And do not invite your rugby-hating friends around to the house while the games are on, especially if they have children.

10. Be ready to celebrate if the All Blacks win. You may be a fair-weather-friend but fans will be so relieved it's not another four years in the wilderness all will be forgiven.

* but surprisingly there's a concurrent increase in RSS subscribers


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