Wellington from a Jaffa

Hee hee, love 'em

1. You can wake up during an earthquake and think that it's just the wind that's shaking your house
2. You can say "Wellington is full of ferries" and not be considered homophobic
3. You can recognise half the city's population when walking down the street
4. You can afford a $1000 suit but still flat in a house that requires 3 sets of clothing and two dehumidifiers to stay warm
5. You see someone travelling 100kph on the motorway and you complain how fast people travel these days
6. You walk from the Railway Station to Willis Street without ever checking for traffic
7. "Just turn left at the first StarMart, walk down the street till you get to the third StarMart, turn right, go 3 StarMarts up and you're there"
8. Seeing the Brooklyn Wind Turbine not turning is a newsworthy event
9. It takes you 20 minutes to drive around the block in peak traffic due to the 'one way system'
10. Boarding a Stagecoach bus is a hazardous activity
11. You take a bodyguard down Courtenay Place in case you bump into a drunk politician
12. The centre line is negotiable, especially on the Brooklyn & Hataitai hills where parked cars can take up 80% of the road
13. You get altitude sickness going from your car to your front door
14. You have to leave the city to do your shopping
15. Any wind that doesn't threaten to take your roof off is just a 'bit of a breeze'
16. You can detect 27 different shades of black suit
17. When an earthquake hits, instead of hiding under your desk, you hold a bet with your workmates on the force, focus and epicentre
18. When giving directions to tourists, you point up
19. You go out for your $5 coffee with friends and complain how expensive Auckland is

Also - Be The Difference in Wellington