Men, Sit Down For A Piss

Men have two types of toilet they can use, inside and outside, no no I joke, it's stand-up and sit-down. 

Stand-up toilets ("urinal", what a crap word) are most often prevalent in pubs and bars. Long, metallic, and somewhere to point ya cock and have a piss. Before using this type every man has to pass the Official Men's Room Etiquette Aptitude Exam.

I have no problem with these sorts of toilets, apart from they are generally icky and you can end up with wet shoes.

The second type of toilet is the sit-down toilet. This is the one you're most used to as you will, unless you're Adrian Chiles, have this at home. Most offices are these types, and more and more the sit-down can been seen in newer and better pubs.

The sit-down has two massive advantages over the stand-up. You can have a poo using one (a "shit-down" if you will ;), and anyone can use them not just humans with wee tubes.

Here's the rub, for some reason men don't seem to get that there's stand-up and sit-down and will very often do stand-up when it's a sit-down. I used to. I thought it was "quicker", but it's no different. AND, the biggest advantage, you do not piss / splash everywhere.